Wednesday, April 28, 2010

another day, another hospital visit

we went to visit papaw in the hospital today.  we've been trying to be there everyday, even though it's over an hour one way.  he needs our company & asssurance everything's gonna be alll right.  his spirits have been high through all that has happened.  praise god for that! 
ben told daddy & me the other night he wanted to see pap every day so he could tell him "that i love him & that he's getting better everyday."  ben is always high on the praise for pap, saying "great job papaw!" & things like that to him.  gracie will always give him a kiss on the hand or somewhere.

the kiddos have fun in that little hospital room!

they are very good about sharing stories & making pap laugh.

tonight they both gave him hugs goodnight.

& i did too. 

we are trying to plan what we will do when he is released from the rehab portion of the hospital.  do we move in with him & care for him?  for how long?  the summer or years?  will he have the patience for our kiddos & our so sweet doggy?  do we sale our home & just really move in with him?  how will we handle school if we stay there for longer than the summer.  how do we handle the hospital er that was obivously negligent last tuesday night?  why did they send him home after his tia even though his blood pressure was 200 something over 100 something?  what were they thinking?? if he had been admitted for observation that night would this major stroke have been lessened? i sure do think so.   so many questions.  so much worry.  i am having a hard time giving my worries to god.   all these thoughts are running through my head.  he had told me time & again (even before this happened) he DID NOT want to go to a nursing home.  i want to be able to respect his wishes.  when the time comes, we'll see what he wants & what we can do.  i know it's in god's hands & it will be ok.  i'm just so ready for that being ok part to be here. 

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