i may be an only child, but have been blessed with family members that i love just as if they were my sisters and know they feel the same. always there for advice, a shoulder to cry on, love and just to listen. some of my favorite memories have been with these gals; be it watching iu win the ncaa way back when steve alford was the coolest dude alive, watching their kiddos grow, having our shopping trips & laughing at the outfits on one another. unlike most sisters, there have only been a handful of disagreements in life- watching a soap opera over sesame street (sorry janet), gentle persuasions on better way to handle situations, etc. i love them so. and my kiddos do too, calling them their aunts. (to those not familiar with our family dynamics, it can be a bit confusing).
the last year has been hard & we've dealt with it together & on our own. talking on the phone or face to face always, always makes me feel better, though tears are usually shed.
i am so proud of both of them. lori & her mom inspired me to go into a male dominated field, mechanical engineering. it was a job that was challenging but i really loved. as long as i can remember, i wanted to do & be whatever janet was. a cheerleader/ a drum major / you name it.
when their mom passed away, janet was working on creating some common core math books for each grade. as a family, we all got to help edit the books & help meet deadlines. it was a added stress for janet, but looking back, it was a great way to focus my grief into something good by helping edit the books. thank you, jl, for having the confidence in me to help out.
i was so excited to see these on fb today & can't wait to read all the positive reviews. i truly think these will help parents, teachers, and students better understand the goals of common core in math & how to reach the solutions.
the amazon link to order these books & other awesome books by janet is here: janet's books. another favorite of our home
we loved it since it was just computer sheets of paper. a fun, learning math book for boys and girls!
now, i just need to enroll for a semester in school & study abroad so i can enjoy harlaxton with you!! :)
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
november 4, 2012 is a day frozen in my mind. i still wake up, wishing it was just a bad, bad dream. i lost my hero, my rock on earth, the one person that had always been there and could always make everything better. time has yet to heal the heartache i feel everyday. not a day goes by that i don't miss deedee.
for us, it started out like a normal sunday..daddio had to work, we went to church & then to a ms walk. i forgot my cell phone and when we got home, our answering machine was full. daddio got home a few minutes after the kiddos & i and said "dee is gone." dee who? not our deedee - no way! i could not believe it or accept it. she passed away, selflessly serving others, as she was always doing.
though i pray a lot every day, i still do not have comfort or peace of her passing. i know i was so blessed to have the relationship with her that i had and those memories of comfort with her can never be taken away but my heart hurts. my heart hurts for my kiddos, who also miss her (little g carries a picture with her of deedee everyday). she had so much more to teach us - i never learned the right way to make those sweet rolls & so much other lessons in life we had to learn from her.
i am so thankful for all the time & love she did give to us & everyone. she was the best. (i don't want this to sound ungrateful for my wonderful mom i have or husband or kiddos or other family...we all felt this way about dee).
after her death, i tried to fill the void by working at preschool & trying to do as she did...but i sure couldn't keep it up. she spent her life devoted to her lord and savior, doing for others, loving all in her family & doing it all with great joy.
the kiddos and i made a sign in our home & this perfectly describes dee:
every day, i try. i do. i really do. but i fail. dee will always be my role model & i will keep trying. & hopefully, someday, i won't have to go to the bathroom to hide my tears from my sweet kiddos. i love you & miss you, deedee.