fine toothed comb

daddio & i were talking tonight & we were talking about living life & memories.  he brought up this poem by Gwendolyn Elizabeth Brooks that he remembered from middle school:
Sadie & Maud

Maud went to college.
Sadie stayed home.
Sadie scraped life
With a fine toothed comb.

She didn't leave a tangle in
Her comb found every strand.
Sadie was one of the livingest chicks
In all the land.

Sadie bore two babies
Under her maiden name.
Maud and Ma and Papa
Nearly died of shame.

When Sadie said her last so-long
Her girls struck out from home.
(Sadie left as heritage
Her fine-toothed comb.)

Maud, who went to college,
Is a thin brown mouse.
She is living all alone
In this old house.

rhyming gone bad..

the other night, ben told daddio he was the lucky one & would get to hold him that night.  i said daddio was a lucky ducky.  well, then it turned into quite a rhyming time.  & you can only imagine what word was said eventually by mr. b (starts with f).  i told him not to say that again, it's a bad word & bad people say it.  he let it slip a time or 2 because "he forgot."

well, the next morning, i guess he had thought about what i said. 
"mom, i thought you said there weren't bad people, only people sometimes do bad things."
got me there.

i told him he was right, but we don't need to say that word anymore.  sometimes my kiddo is much smarter than me.

i'll love them anyway..

people are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. forgive them anyway.
if you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. be kind anyway.
if you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. succeed anyway.
if you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. be honest and sincere anyway.
what you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. create anyway.
if you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. be happy anyway.
the good you do today, will often be forgotten. do good anyway.
give the best you have, and it will never be enough. give your best anyway.
in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway. - mother teresa

i need to remind myself of this. 

we're making it

what a crazy april and may  it was!  but, we made it & are now into june.  so much has happened in such a little time.
 i can't wait to post pictures & share stories about ben's preschool closing program (awesome buddy!), zoo trips with friends, more t-ball, the "simple life" out at papaw's (ha ha ha - i have never worked so hard in my stinking life), fishing at namaw & poppy's, the party at donna & tom's, my unending appreication for my great aunt dee who has provided us with awesome meals more times than i can count (& it's one the days that i am ready to pull out all my hair), & the progress papaw has made.

papaw is getting there, he says we will be gone & he on his own by july 1st... we'll see.  i hate to watch him struggle to do such simple things.  & sometimes when i'm tired & gracie's throwing a fit,  i hate to have to do it.  but we are making it through it all as a family.  & i am thankful for that.  seriously, i have the best husband in the world.  he has never even said a negative thing about this situation (unlike selfish me) & comes home smiling, ready to play with the kiddos, kiss me & work with papaw.

last night, gracie went to sleep early, as did pap.  justin & ben went for a drive.  i was just laying there, head racing wondering what i got my family into.  feeling guilt over the less one on one time i was having with my kids, guilt over frustrations toward my extended family, guilt over my shortness with my dear husband & poor papaw.  i was feeling honestly pretty crappy.  when ben & justin got home, ben wanted to read from the book "more little visits with god."  these are little devotionals to read with kiddos about god & his love & how it pertains to life but was written like way back in the 60's or something.  well, we chose 3 stories last night & they oh so spoke to me.  one was about love.  it gave an example of 3 kids & their love for their mom.  the first 2 told their mom they loved them, but the third told her mom that & did things that showed love.  it talked about how much god loves us & loves for us to show love for others.  it helped me to realize how we are showing pap love by doing this for him.  & made me appreciate even more all those that love us.  people watching my kiddos so i can take care of papaw, bringing food, taking him for a drive, just making a phone call.  it matters.   the other 2 hit the spot, but my mind is tired & i need to go back home (i snuck over to aunt dee & uncle paul's to use their internet while my household is asleep). 

much love to all my friends & family out there.  thank you for your prayers.  angie in germany, i hope all is well with your baby girl!!

telling god about our clogged sink

oh, my mr. ben.

yesterday, he left the table during breakfast to take care of some business in the bathroom. a few minutes later i hear,
"flush" "mom, uuhh, i think we've got a problem."

not something you want to hear coming from the bathroom.

so i yell back, "what is it?"

"just get in here!!"

i leave gracie at the kitchen table to enjoy the rest of her yogurt covered waffle she's eating for breakfast to go check out who knows what. i come in there to find the sink almost overflowing.

"what's going on?" i ask

"i don't know"

"did you put something down the sink, or something fall in?"

"i don't know, i think gracie put something in there."

"gracie wasn't even in here. just tell the truth & you won't get in any trouble." i say.

"well, i've already talked to god about it & said i was sorry, so it's ok." says ben.

"but you need to tell momma too."

"i can't"

"please. you can tell the truth. i know you can." i had a pretty good idea it was the bouncy ball he had been playing with during breakfast that made it's way into our sink, but wanted him to tell me. i have been working on my patience with my kiddos & was hoping this would be a good lesson for him about telling the truth & trusting me that i wouldn't get mad.

"i dropped the toothpaste lid down the sink when i was brushing my teeth," he said.
i got out the toothpaste & the lid was still on it. i was very disappointed. i told him so & asked him to please again tell me the truth. i told him i would not get mad.

"ok, ok, i dropped the ball" he said almost in a whisper with his tears in his eyes not looking at me. my poor baby was scared to tell me.

"well, let's see if we can get the water down," i said & stuck a metal clothes hanger down the drain. clog solved, but ball gone gone.

"can we get another ball?"

"not today, but thank you for finally telling me the truth. don't you feel better?

"i love you momma" sealed with a big hug & kiss

that day at school, he even told mrs. p (his preschool teacher, whom he adores) all about the event. his fear that i would be angry, his lying, telling god, telling the truth & losing the ball. he tells her everything! she told him he needed to make sure & tell his momma the truth & that she wouldn't be angry at him. thank you, mrs. p.


i feel bad that he was scared i would be angry. there have been times where i have been short with the kids, but i have really been working on that. really hard. i feel bad that we don't take the kiddos to church like we should, that they aren't exposed to some of the life values i learned in sunday school through the stories(we have noticed ben is learning these at his preschool though). this sunday, we have a plan to go to church where he goes to preschool. i'll let ya know how that goes...

hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!