& words can break a heart.
it's been a long, long time since i've posted anything on our blog. i've been in a bit of a "drut," i'd say- depression mixed with being in a rut.
my intentions with the blog have been to document our lives, the good & the bad, so the kiddos can look back someday & "remember the good ole days."
i would post some random pics of our family, just to keep a bit up to date. & then i quit even doing that. but i have really been letting life fly by & not living each day to the fullest. (how ironic i write this now as i have been a bum all week dealing with kidney stones) so now it's time to blog again; as benj & miss g sure haven't slowed down on their shenanigans or just enjoying life's little joys. in fact, every day they amaze me more & more at their love for their God & our world & others. what a difference they are making already in this world of ours!
well, back to my "drut" -it's time to get over the hurtful words & start living life & let it go to God. i kept telling myself i was over all the drama, but it continued to weigh heavily on my heart. what i & my family were doing for papaw was out of love for him. he was, is & has always been my concern - as i and my family his. he walked me down the aisle on my wedding day & i held his hand all night when mamaw died. he's my papaw. i am grateful for the times we have been able to be there for him & he for us. i likely will never understand some extended family members' intentions & stories that they had told to pap, but in the end the truth will come out & that is what matters. i pray my kiddos remember the sundays after church going up to pap's to eat & "help out" & play, the sacrifices they made (even at an early age) to help take pap to his treatments & care for him, working in the garden & the great love pap has for them and they for him.
through the past several years, many times i could only imagine what my mamaw is thinking looking down on our extended family right now. mamaw, i hope i am making you proud. i love you & miss you. you helped keep everyone on the right track & things got so derailed since you went to a better place. i know God has a master plan, but man, right now it is so confusing!