Friday, April 27, 2012

sticks & stones may break my bones..

& words can break a heart.

it's been a long, long time since i've posted anything on our blog.  i've been in a bit of a "drut," i'd say-  depression mixed with being in a rut.   my intentions with the blog have been to document our lives, the good & the bad, so the kiddos can look back someday & "remember the good ole days."
i would post some random pics of our family, just to keep a bit up to date.  & then i quit even doing that.  but i have really been letting life fly by & not living each day to the fullest.  (how ironic i write this now as i have been a bum all week dealing with kidney stones)  so now it's time to blog again; as benj & miss g sure haven't slowed down on their shenanigans or just enjoying life's little joys.  in fact, every day they amaze me more & more at their love for their God & our world & others.  what a difference they are making already in this world of ours!

well, back to my "drut" -it's time to get over the hurtful words & start living life & let it go to God.  i kept telling myself i was over all the drama, but it continued to weigh heavily on my heart.  what i & my family were doing for papaw was out of love for him.  he was, is & has always been my concern - as i and my family his. he walked me down the aisle on my wedding day & i held his hand all night when mamaw died.  he's my papaw. i am grateful for the times we have been able to be there for him & he for us.  i likely will never understand some extended family members' intentions & stories that they had told to pap, but in the end the truth will come out & that is what matters.   i pray my kiddos remember the sundays after church going up to pap's to eat & "help out" & play, the sacrifices they made (even at an early age) to help take pap to his treatments & care for him, working in the garden & the great love pap has for them and they for him.  
through the past several years, many times i could only imagine what my mamaw is thinking looking down on our extended family right now.  mamaw, i hope i am making you proud.  i love you & miss you.  you helped keep everyone on the right track & things got so derailed since you went to a better place. i know God has a master plan, but man, right now it is so confusing!