what a sunday & reminder to self - it's not all about me..

sunday, i woke up with the headache that has been plaguing me for weeks now.  it was a bit of a struggle to put on a happy face, get the kiddos ready & head to our new church location (for now) for the tours of the childrens' classes.  but, we did it & i was just blown away by the work & enthusiasm & love that was shown in each classroom.  it was awesome!!  gracie told me with excitement as we were leaving her room, "mommy, you need to stay & hear the music - it's totally cool!"  i loved watching & participating in the elementary kiddos groups & seeing my big b's eyes lit up, listening to the story told, & getting up & dancing & singing during the worship time.  God's love was all around.

honestly, leaving one life on sunday many thoughts were racing through my head.
1-can we really be a part of launching the

?

 us?  i haven't read the entire bible through since i was a kid! 
2-i loved our "movie church" the way it was...it had taken us a while to find that "right church" & now it's a changing... i loved every sunday at discovery listening to His word & crying & singing & laughing  & getting a great spiritual start for my week.  what will the future really hold?
3-does being a small group leader for the elementary kiddos means we don't get to go to the actual adult service for a year?  what about me?

my headache got worse.
& then we went to my moms....mr. ben was happy to see pap wasn't there (cousin luke had taken pap to his house to give my mom a much needed break).  which broke my heart.  ever since the stroke & living with pap & fighting & moving out, little ben's relationship changed.  & i thought about this at mom's outside & just cried.  we were trying to do the right thing, but was it?  i want benj to remember my papaw as the papaw that held his held learning to walk,

so excited to show him how to bat left handed. (pap's stroke was a week after this picture)

 the pap that he loved to help in the garden

& go out to with eat at windell's. 

not the papaw that he didn't want to see because of that summer.   

& my head hurt even worse. 
& of course i could not sleep at night, my mind racing & praying.  talking to God did help.

even though i'm an only child :),  i know this life isn't about me.  it's about waay more than me.  sharing God's love.  just knowing God loves me & accepting Christ as my savior isn't enough.  the last book we read in small group was Radical - taking back your faith from the american dream by David Platt & man, do i keep reflecting back on what we read.  it wasn't an easy read for me, but it impacted us all so for the better. 
& to answer my questions after church from above:
1- wow! i get to be a part of something so awesome as sharing God's word & love with others.  it may seem daunting , but "yes we can!" :)
2 - only God knows what the future holds.  it's in his hands.  & it's so much bigger than the "movie church" that we were comfy at.  & pastor trey will still be there & the band but with so many more resources & we get to be a part of it!
3-  getting to be a part of showing God's love for my special group of children is going to rock & how rewarding is that for me & them.  it's a bit humbling to get to share in such an important time of a person's life & walk with the Lord. 

onto the visit at mom's.  i still don't know what to do about ben's relationship with papaw.  i pray & pray on that & cry & cry.  ben did show such maturity when pap was in the nursing home by even going & hugging him & telling me he forgave his papaw & i am so proud of him for that.  but i know it still hurts & i don't want my baby to hurt.  i want him to be the carefree 5 year old he should be.  i pray time heals these wounds for all of us, especially my baby boy.  that's all i got for sunday.  what a day.

good night prayer

we typically start out the night with the same prayer, but ben wanted to "make up his own" tonight. 
here it is:
dear god, thank you for the beautiful day & my friends to play with.  thank you for loving me.  i love you.  amen. 
all i can say is ditto. 

he went on to ask god to bless everyone we know & especially god himself & the easter bunny. 

taking deep breaths.. & a prayer

well, the kiddos have rsv.  tuesday, at the doctor ben had double ear infections & a cough that would not quit.  thursday, i called them again since he was showing no signs of improvement with that darn cough.  they called in some cough meds that did zilcho.  so, we went back in friday & he tested positive for rsv.  poor fella.  miss gracie has been following him with his illnesses (pink eye & now rsv).  i am thankful that they are not infants dealing with this & their bodies are better able to fight this. 

now the breathing treatments...for ben, we put on some mario kart & he doesn't mind them one bit.  gracie on the other hand, takes some coaxing.  one time she will scream & cry to no end, the next she's high fiving about it all. 

last night, i couldn't sleep thanks to a steriod & the kiddos taking turns coughing & crying.  i was up till 5.   i spent that time googling natural remedies for rsv, infections & colds.  so much information out there!

i had a handful to try today...

daddio was impressed with the gse gargle, he said it took care of that sore throat.  here's a link that tells some of the wonders of this stuff! 

they all swallowed the homemade lemon & honey cough medicine.  both ingredients fight infection. honey also coats and hydrates your throat to sooth irritation. the lemon is a natural antihistamine and will reduce congestion.

now, for the bigg daddy of my natural remedies to try... goot!  daddio was not so thrilled about the goot i made.  it's a concoction of minced garlic, olive oil & coconut oil rubbed all over the chest & feet that you use similar to vicks vapor rub.  the kiddos were no problem.  but daddio was a no go.  that is until he was asleep & i rubbed it in! no vampires gettin us anytime soon!

in my little world, yesterday evening at the time was a bit stressful for me.  after ben's doctor visit, gracie was overtired, cranky & not feeling too well  so she screamed and cried the whole way home. ben was coughing so much he kept throwing up.  i called the afterhours service & the nurse said this was normal.  ok.

well, once we got home, i stuck them in the bathroom with a hot shower running for some steam to open up the lungs.  then, i added a few drops of olba's oil thinking that would help soothe my poor kiddos. oh, i felt the smell was just clearing up our congestion! i turned on the cold water, felt the water & let the kiddos get in the bathtub. at first all was well, but then gracie started screaming "my aum huts!" then ben joined in that his feet & elbow pit were burning.

oh crap. not good.

i was in panic mode. i swooped them out & ran to the small shower in our bedroom where we stayed till there was no hot water left. poor gracie was shaking, teeth chattering, crying & couldn't catch her breath through the whole ordeal. she was so freaked out & i was terrified. questions running through my head -was it in her eyes too, why won't she talk, what do i do?? ben was coughing full force but being brave for me.


thank goodness phineas & ferb was on tv to help distract them after the torture. i covered them up in our bed, dressed them in some extra warm pjs (& a hat for gracie that couldn't stop chattering), held them tight & kissed them bunches to help mellow everyone out.


after we were all better, i felt like an idiot.  i'm thankful they are ok & may just be a bit scared to take a bath for a while. i googled the stuff & it says clearly "not for children under 7", along with a few other cautions. i'm sorry my kiddos. i learned something for sure.

i also look at my post & back at our last 2 days of illness & am almost ashamed that is all we have had to deal with.  i feel so for the parents & children out there that have so much more to endure.  my "problems" are so minute.  right now, my heart is broken for a family friend and their loss of their precious baby zoe yesterday.  the little girl was loved so much in her momma's belly &  in her 25 hours here with her family.  i pray that god provides them comfort & peace & strength they need right now.