plans

i've been trying to get a grasp on all of our holiday plans & it was starting to get the better of me. i think we have somewhat of a plan now, but if something changes that is ok.

i don't know if it's the excitement of christmas or what, but sleep has been a bit challenging. last night, i sang & stood on 1 foot swaying cecee while beano held my other foot in bed. it was after 11 before they were both asleep. i keep telling myself what deedee always says, "this too shall pass." & it will.


it seems like just yesterday beano was born & we were bringing our little glow worm home. i stayed awake the entire first night home, making sure he was ok. he was.
the second night, i had a plan with daddio to take shifts so someone would be up at all times. i woke up in the middle of the night to beano crying & daddio patting my leg thinking i was the baby (which was in the bassinet). by the end of the second week, i was no longer setting the alarm for every 3 hours to make sure & nurse him.

& it's hard to believe it's been 17 months since cecee was born. i had a 3 or 4 page instruction manual for the grandmas & poppy on how to take care of beano (like they wouldn't know) while i was in the hospital with cecee. i tried to plan everything out just so. when she was born, it all went out the window. she had breathing problems & was in the nicu for about a week. one of the hardest things for me was to leave the hospital without her. at the time, it seemed like the end of the world to me. but it wasn't. we made it through & she is now a beautiful, healthy little girl that lights up a room with her smile.

good things came out of the time she was in the nicu. it brought daddio & i closer together. he was my rock. it made me realize how blessed i am to have my family. namaw took off work to care for beano so i could stay at the hospital with cecee. auntie jen offered to fly up from florida to help out. damaw took care of zaky & came down to help out. our family doctor would come to the hospital almost every morning before work to check in on us (most mornings he woke daddio & i up in sleeping together in the little hospital bed). that all meant so much.

beano & cecee, from their births, have been teaching me that life doesn't always go as i plan. it's something i have a hard time with, going with the flow & putting it in god's hands. but i'm working on it!